Day 351. 184.2 pounds lost.
Back in 2013, I stumbled across a goals workbook “My Shining Year” created by a woman named Leonie Dawson. I thought it was a cute idea; the workbook broke down all the areas of your life and would have you write down goals for each of them. These areas were relationships, friendships, healthy mind, healthy body, creative pursuits, financial goals, self-care and a few others. The first year, I spent a week working on the book and was proud that going into 2014 I had everything written down. The workbook sat on my counter for the first week in January of 2014 because I wanted a daily reminder of all the work I just did. It eventually made its way to my living room and forgotten. Towards the end of the year, I ran across it while cleaning so I decided to read through it. I hadn’t accomplished much. My initial thought was “ehhh…. This shit doesn’t work… fun workbook though”. After some thought, I broke down and bought another book in December of 14’ to get ready for my New Year 2015. I essentially repeated the same pattern that year as I had done the year before. In 2016, I repeated the same pattern I had done in 2015. What the f*** was I missing? I set my goals, I put them in writing. Boom, magic should have been happening!&@#^
I wasn’t working on my workbook this time last year as I had done in previous years. I was slothing in my living room feeling sorry for myself and binging on daily pizza delivery. I’m not certain I even showered that week. I thought, “I’m not filling out that stupid workbook again. It’s lame, and it doesn’t work”. I was determined to skip the workbook altogether. However on December 25th at 10:00 pm when my knees hit the floor, and I cried as I had never done before that changed. I talk about this week a lot because it really was my “come to Jesus” week. I asked God for clarity – what was I doing wrong? Why was I so weak? Why couldn’t I accomplish goals? Every year I had the best of intentions, and I would go into every January excited and ready to conquer the year. A miracle happened sometime between December 25th and January 2nd because somehow ….. something got downloaded. I bought another workbook on January 3rd, and I knew exactly what I needed to do differently this year.
Whether you do goal setting every year or make New Year’s resolutions, how many of you crap out by the end of January? Its okay to raise your hand, I was one of them. I had someone at the gym say to me this week, “Athena, you proved that New Year’s resolutions can stick!” Let’s talk about this.
I believe New Years Resolutions or goals fail because of two things; one, they are significantly unrealistic, or out of alignment with an internal view of yourself……. or secondly, there was no plan to get there. If you’re going to get a New Years resolution to stick, then you have to rewire your brain completely. This isn’t something temporary, it’s forever.
When I sat down on January 3rd, I knew what I needed to change first and foremost. Too many goals can be overwhelming. My brain only allows me to work on one thing at a time. My entire workbook for 2017 only had one theme: remove the physical barrier between me and the life I wanted. My point here is to focus on one goal or one resolution. ONE.
Specifics. “Losing weight” is not a specific goal or rather, ……it’s not specific enough. I had to break down every chunk of ten pounds. For me, it was ten pounds at a time with 25-pound milestones. Every ten pounds was rewarded and celebrated, every 25 pounds was rewarded and celebrated further.
Don’t bite off more than you can chew. I didn’t change my diet, join a gym, and start working out 5 days a week on January 4th. My only focus for the first 30 days was diet change, nothing else. When it became a habit, and it became routine, I would add something else. I wouldn’t be working out 5 days a week for another 6 months. It took a while to build up to that, and you need to allow yourself time to do that.
Celebrate every single milestone. Those little wins keep the momentum going.
Focus your thinking on new behavior. Changing habits literally requires you to create new neural pathways to that brain of yours. This isn’t going to happen in a day or even the first month.
Focus on today. My grandpa was an alcoholic in his earlier days before he joined AA. He said something to me when I was young, and it finally stuck this year. He said, Athena…. I had to focus on one day at a time. I couldn’t think about next week or next month. I had to wake up in the morning and say, “Can I stick to the plan today? Yes, I can do today. Today turns into a few days, a few days turns into weeks, weeks turn into months”. If you only focus on one day at a time, it relieves the pressure”. This worked for me.
Be mindful. Learn to pay attention to what your body is telling you. Become physically, emotionally and mentally 
aware of your inner state. Don’t live in the past. Why would you want too?
Believe. This might be the hardest one for you because I know it was for me. I got stuck the first couple weeks because I kept allowing my brain to think about all the previous times I had failed. It haunted me for quite some time. The belief that I could lose 200 pounds this year or hell, even get close to that goal felt like a lie. Believing is going to be the hardest thing you do. You need to believe that its possible, that you’re worthy, that you deserve it, and that you can do it despite 1000 previous failed attempts. Yes, I know…. like I said it’s going to feel like a lie I’ve been there. Every day you will need to work on rewiring whatever belief system you have about yourself. It took me six months before it actually felt real… “Hey, this is doable.”
Get Real. There will be people out there that say “having accountability” is going to be key. I actually heard someone say “If you aren’t accountable to someone, you won’t succeed”. Wow…… Do whatever works for you but here’s the truth of it. Be accountable to yourself. Get real with your own bullshit. Don’t let anyone else write your story.
Can New Years Resolutions work? Yes.
“Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith” (Galatians 3:5)?
Lovingly,
Bean
