Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Coaching vs counseling: They’re not the same.

the lemon juice effect and the illusion of confidence

McArthur Wheeler believed lemon juice would make him invisible. So, he robbed a bank with his face fully exposed, confident the cameras would catch nothing. Why? He had read that lemon juice could be used as invisible ink, and somehow, in the murky brilliance of bad logic, he assumed the same rules applied to his skin. He didn’t become invisible; he became unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.

Absurd? Yes. But Wheeler’s mistake unlocked one of the most important truths about human behavior: the Dunning-Kruger effect. When you lack competence in a subject, you often lack the very insight needed to recognize that incompetence. In short, people who know the least often think they know the most.

And in coaching, this blindness isn’t just frustrating, it’s costly. The confusion between coaching vs counseling is one of the most common ways well-meaning professionals lose sight of what their role truly is.

when coaching vs counseling gets confused

Situations like this happen more often than most coaches admit. People show up in your inbox or on a consult call asking for help. But as the conversation unfolds, it becomes clear that the real need is deeper. What they really want is comfort, not coaching. They’re not looking for structured feedback or goal setting. They need someone who can hold emotional space, not ask for accountability. This isn’t about forward motion; it’s about surviving the now.

In moments like this, the coach is faced with a choice. Some coaches try to meet that need with empathy alone. They nod, listen, and offer advice that sounds supportive, but it lacks the depth required to truly help. Or we can be honest about what we see, and admit that it’s not coaching they need, it’s counseling.

This is the moment where knowing your lane becomes everything.

where good intentions cause harm

This is also the moment where coaches get into trouble. We care. We care deeply. But we sometimes confuse caring with capability. We want to help, so we try to absorb pain; sometimes because we know what it is, other times we don’t know how to hold it. Coaches often hear a trauma story and respond with a plan and encouragement, believing that is enough. We cross a line we aren’t trained to cross. That’s when coaches start to feel drained, and clients remain stuck. Something feels off because the work being done doesn’t match what’s actually needed.

Here’s the truth.

Coaching is not therapy. Therapy is not coaching. If you blur the line, you’re not helping. 

breaking down coaching vs counseling

Let’s break the coaching vs counseling down with clarity and while we’re at it, let’s talk about nutrition coaching too.

coaching is structured

It focuses on helping a client take consistent action toward a future-based goal. It’s built on behavior change, habit development, skill building, and accountability. Coaching assumes the client has enough emotional stability to engage with challenges, reflect on patterns, and follow through on what they commit to. The client might still be working through hard things, but they’ve reached a place where they can take action. They aren’t in emotional crisis. They’re not looking for daily reassurance. What they need is structure, strategy, and support they can follow through on. Coaching doesn’t include diagnosing mental health issues, unpacking trauma, or acting as emotional rescue. Coaching moves people forward, it doesn’t patch emotional wounds or regulate nervous systems.

counseling, on the other hand, is clinical

It deals with trauma, emotional regulation, mental health conditions, and unresolved pain. A therapist or counselor is trained to hold emotional overwhelm, help someone integrate difficult experiences, and guide a client through the healing process before action can even begin. Counseling doesn’t assume readiness; it creates it. This client may be emotionally flooded, easily dysregulated, or unable to reflect clearly without spiraling.

the same is true in nutrition coaching

A nutrition coach helps clients build habits, gain awareness around food behaviors, and create realistic action plans. That’s powerful work but it’s not clinical. A registered dietitian, on the other hand, is licensed to diagnose, treat, and prescribe medical nutrition therapy. A client who needs to manage chronic sicknesses, food allergies, complex metabolic conditions, an eating disorder or even highly complex disordered eating patterns is better served by a licensed dietitian or qualified medical provider trained in clinical nutrition therapy. Nutrition coaching is meaningful and impactful, but it has it limits. 

the view from the other side of the table

It takes humility to stay in your lane.

I’ve experienced the other side of this as a client. Last year, I was in a coaching relationship that ended abruptly. At first, I questioned whether I had done something wrong or whether I had been too much. I was navigating a weight loss journey with a lot of moving parts, in fact I still am. There was the nutrition side, the movement side with a body that had past surgeries and physical limitations, and the mindset and spiritual side that carried its own weight. It wasn’t that I was too complex. The journey had depth like most journeys do!  

why I split my support team

When I started working with my next team, I intentionally split my care. That decision came from deep respect; not just for the coach who said they couldn’t be my coach anymore, but for myself, and for the people helping me going forward. I didn’t want to blur the lines, even accidentally, because I understood just how much weight one person shouldn’t be asked to carry. I knew better. It was a takeaway I didn’t have at the time but appreciate much more now in retrospect.

A few media figures in the space even laughed and made light of it. I had done it out of the deepest possible respect, but what felt wise and intentional to me was mocked by people who didn’t understand the complexity behind it. And here’s the part I find almost humorous; it was the Dunning-Kruger effect in action.

The people who mocked that decision couldn’t see the competence in that choice because they didn’t have the competence to recognize it. They thought they were laughing at weakness. What they were actually doing was revealing their own.

how it changed my coaching forever

That awareness changed how I coach today.

Just because you understand trauma doesn’t mean you’re equipped to process it with someone else. And just because you’ve made it through your own fire doesn’t mean you’re qualified to pull someone else through theirs. I’ve been in it. I’ve lived the dark, clawed my way out, and earned every scar. Doing that work for yourself is brutal enough. Trying to carry someone through it while holding the weight of their story, their regulation, their pain; that requires training, boundaries, and clinical skill. The smartest thing a coach can do is not to try harder. It’s to know when it’s not their lane and make sure the client is placed in the hands that can truly hold them.

On the flip side, just because someone’s journey has layers doesn’t mean they always need therapy. Sometimes the most respectful thing a client can do is build a team that honors the limits of each role.

know your lane

Know your lane. Respect your scope. And stop rubbing lemon juice on your face, thinking it makes you wise. And good ol’ McArthur Wheeler…well he went to prison of course. The absurdity is easy to laugh at, but the lesson is serious. This is what happens when confidence outpaces competence. In coaching, when we step outside our scope and assume we’re equipped to hold what we’re not trained to carry, we’re doing the same thing. We’re acting on assumption instead of discernment. That kind of misstep isn’t harmless. It has consequences; for the client, for the coach, and for the integrity of the work itself.