Policy of Truth | Week 17 Weight Loss

85 pounds down, day 124.

I had another humbling experience today. There are times when I forget that this process is so much more than simply losing weight. It’s about getting to a proper body composition.

I’d like to talk about the severe downfalls of simply measuring success by the scale which is something I found out today. My coach had told me repeatedly not to get discouraged by the scale, but I think naturally for most of us, this is the only measurement or rather gauge of success we have. There’s probably a scale in most of your houses, hell to even get a cough checked out by the doctor they put you on the scale. It’s so natural just to hop on it and say, “yep, that’s where I am alright.”

April was a semi-difficult month because I wasn’t seeing the 20-30 pounds a month I got used to seeing. I got frustrated easily and frequently had bitch out sessions with that scale. However, I knew I had to be making progress because of my clothes were fitting looser. My favorite sweater looks ridiculous, I had to be doing something right? *confused* I was looking forward to measurement day which was this morning.

It was BNI Thursday, so I found a nice shirt I just bought a couple weeks back, but I noticed it was already too big. I thought, “what the hell, I just bought this thing. I don’t remember it fitting quite this loose?” I shrugged it off because I had somewhere I needed to be. All I could think about during BNI was seeing where the numbers were.

I arrived at Bootcamp early so I could go through all the measurement with my coach. Slowly I see her writing them all up on the board and I’m trying to calculate them in my head. Was that right? Last month there was a total inch loss of 17.5 inches overall. I was sitting there completely stunned. It was instant overwhelm, and I felt those damn tears running down my cheeks right there in front of everybody. I had fought that fucking scale all month, and ultimately it was a liar. All I could think about was how hard I had been on myself when I wasn’t seeing numbers. I really felt bad, I had been terrible to myself.

I wish I had been smart enough to take measurements on day one but I did not. DOH! I need to spend more time setting goals that are not weight oriented. Perhaps being able to walk longer without limping or do a couple true pushups. That’s a start.

That scale will pressure me no more. Inch loss doesn’t lie – there’s your policy of truth.

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