The Hidden Power of Your Environment in Change
A couple of weeks ago, I introduced you to someone I’m working with—let’s call him Tom. Tom is a husband, a father of teens, and, like so many of us, a guy with big aspirations for the new year. On January 1st, he set a goal: to hit the gym every single day. Ambitious? Absolutely. But big goals need solid foundations, and he chose to start small.
Before Tom could smash those morning workouts, we started with the simplest building block: waking up at 5:00 a.m. every day. That’s it. Just get up. And we celebrated every win, no matter how small. Did we ring the PR bell for getting out of bed on time? You bet we did. Some might say, “Really? That’s worth celebrating?” But here’s the thing: this habit was the cornerstone for everything else.
For two weeks, it was awesome. Tom’s daily “I did it” texts at 7:00 a.m. became a bright spot in my mornings.
Then came week three.
At 7:00 a.m., my phone buzzed. Instead of the usual celebratory message, I got this: “fu***** crappy morning.”
Yikes.
I immediately replied: “Talk to me.”
It didn’t take long for the story to spill out. That 5:00 a.m. alarm—the one we’d been high-fiving over—had become a source of tension at home. Tom’s wife, who wasn’t on the same schedule, was less than thrilled about the early wake-ups and the inevitable noise. What had started as a personal victory was now creating friction in his most important relationship.
The Ripple Effect of Change
This situation isn’t unique to Tom. I’ve lived it myself. When you make big changes in your life, they don’t just affect you—they ripple outward, touching everything and everyone around you.
I’ll never forget losing a friend I’d had for nearly 25 years. When I started making changes to prioritize my health, it wasn’t just my routines that shifted—it was the dynamic of our relationship. What used to feel easy and familiar—venting over mimosas—suddenly felt out of sync. I was focused on growth, and trying to navigate new territory and instead of navigating that with me, she pulled away. What I saw as positive change, she saw as a disruption to what we’d always had.
This is a different kind of example than what Tom and his wife are going through, but it underscores the same truth: even the simplest changes—whether it’s a morning alarm or a new lifestyle—can impact everything. The smallest shifts can create ripples that affect relationships in ways you never anticipated. It’s not about fault or blame; it’s about understanding that change, no matter how good, can be uncomfortable for the people around you.
Why Environment Matters
When we think about weight loss or fitness, the focus is usually on nutrition and exercise. And sure, those are crucial. But they’re not the whole picture. Your environment—the people, routines, and spaces you share—plays a massive role in your success.
Let me be clear: this isn’t about blaming your family, partner, or friends. It’s about recognizing that your choices don’t exist in a bubble. When you change your habits, it can ripple out in ways you didn’t expect.
If you’re working toward a goal, think about it: when you start waking up earlier, cooking healthier meals, or spending more time exercising, those changes can feel disruptive to the people around you. They might miss the way things “used to be.” They might feel left out. That friction doesn’t always mean they don’t support you—it’s just a natural reaction to change.
Turning Your Environment Into an Ally
So, how do we make this work? Whether you’re chasing a goal or coaching someone who is, here are a few ways to turn your environment into a source of support instead of stress.
- Open the Lines of Communication
If your habits are creating friction, have the conversation. Share your “why” with the people around you. Why is this change important to you? What are you hoping to achieve? Then, give them space to share how they feel. It’s not about defending your choices—it’s about finding a way forward together.
Example: In Tom’s case, we brainstormed solutions. None of his ideas are a perfect fix but it was a step toward balance. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.
- Invite Others In
Find small ways to include the people around you. This doesn’t mean dragging them to the gym against their will—it means looking for ways to make the journey feel less isolating.
When I started meal prepping, I asked my family to test my new recipes. It turned “Athena’s food vs. the family food” into a shared activity. Not every recipe was a hit (looking at you, kale muffins), but it made the process feel more inclusive.
- Set Realistic Expectations
Change takes time—for you and for the people around you. Not everyone will immediately adapt to your new habits, and that’s okay. Consistency, not perfection, is the goal.
- Celebrate Together
Wins feel bigger when you share them. Whether it’s a milestone on the scale, a new PR at the gym, or a small but meaningful habit, find ways to celebrate with your support system. Whatever it is, make it something you can enjoy together.
A Note for Coaches
Coaches, don’t underestimate the power of environment in your clients’ success. When you’re setting goals with them, dig deeper. Ask about their support system. Who’s in their corner? What challenges might they face at home or work? These conversations can help you anticipate roadblocks and create strategies to overcome them. This is about setting your clients up for a life that supports their goals.
Here’s a twist, coaches and a view from the opposite side. While you’re out there telling clients to build their support systems, have you checked in on your own? Like, does your partner roll their eyes when you answer texts? The truth is, you can’t preach balance if your own circle is secretly plotting against your clients. One day…. I will dive deeper on this one.
Final Thoughts
What’s happening with Tom is a reminder that progress isn’t just about discipline—it’s about connection. It’s about navigating the messiness of life and figuring out how to grow without leaving the people you care about behind.
Whether you’re setting goals or helping someone else achieve theirs, remember this: success doesn’t happen in isolation. It’s shaped by the environment we build and the relationships we nurture along the way.
What about you? Have you ever felt like your environment was working against you—or for you? Let’s talk about it. I’d love to hear your stories.
