Day 736. 245 lbs lost (As of 12-14). Now, we aren’t quite sure if its still that number or not. I had quite a bit of egg nog over Christmas. Unfortunately, there are caloric penalties for being a connoisseur of this item although I am highly skilled {{laughing}}.
Mmm hmm… a few indulgences. But – eh, we’re back in the grind.
I’ve been fully immersed in a new venture after setting all my goals for 2019 and doing some 2018 reflections that I thought I would share with you. Besides, it’s been a bit since I blogged.
The good, the hard, the big decisions and where I landed.
From a few bouts of serious anxiety and quiet reflection times to saying goodbye to my home gym and a handful of friend connections to quitting a lucrative job to write a book.
Here we go!
When I started in 2018, my goals were fairly broad. My words for the year were “steady,” “inspire,” and “intentional.” Those words showed up in my books quite frequently. Other goals were to find my spiritual gifts, continue as sharp as ever mentally and get my story on paper. I knew it wasn’t my job to understand the HOW, but instead set the intention and know it was on its way.
You made it through the year, pat yourself on the back Athena. Some of it sucked, but you got there. I value your persistence and endless faith in the unseen.
In April 2018, my CrossFit Journal story first dropped.
I wrote about that here:
It was the beginning of endless change, growth, perspective, but also new anxieties, fears, and a few frustration breakdowns. Life changes….. let’s talk about some of those experiences and changes.
Within a few weeks of the Journal Story airing, I was flying to California for yet another experience; the CrossFit Podcast. It was by far such an incredible thing to be included. My favorite part was when Sevan suddenly started talking about tossing a toilet out a second story window. I loved his randomness and personality. I adore this guy, and I’m proud to call him a friend… and Matt, Eric, Tyson, Rory, Sean, Tommy…..AB, …. everyone at HQ, I’m just so honored to call you a friend!
Wanna listen? You can do that here.
Next Up – The Book
During this same time, I was working a full-time job. I had always been an independent business owner, contractor or consultant but to hit some financial goals, I agreed to take a W2 position. I was happy for a while… until I wasn’t. I was getting this nagging feeling to get started on my book; something I had thought about for quite a while. CrossFit was consuming my life, and I loved every minute of it, but it got to the point where I had to choose the direction my life was going to go. I quit my job on the same day as my birthday. Happy birthday Athena!
You can read those posts here:
Quitting my job to write a book was by far one of the scariest things I have ever done. Unfortunately, my fears of the unknown caused some severe anxieties and writer’s block for quite a while. There were many days and weeks of staring at walls and beating my head on the table wondering how and why I decided to write. However,………I am relieved to tell you the first draft was completed in November. There are many needed edits, additions, and changes but the hard part (and goal) was accomplished; get it on paper.
The book will be released sometime in 2019.
Severe Anxieties
Leaving the job, of course, brought anxieties…(round the clock kind). But the thousands of messages I was receiving was the hardest. I desperately wanted to write every single person back that took their time to reach out to me graciously, but it became impossible. I found myself in tears several times because I didn’t want to be “her”….. I wanted every single person to know how grateful I was. But it became impossible. If you are one of those people that didn’t get a response… forgive me. I appreciate and read every single message. Thank you for caring and for showing me your love. It meant the world to me. Letters continue to arrive daily. They brighten every moment. Thank you…. thank you.
New Box
In July, I decided to leave my home gym. It had been the birthplace of my CrossFit story and leaving was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. Long story short, to stay grounded, continue to grow and stay close to God, regretfully I had to leave. It took several months of bouncing around like a fish out of water at a couple of beautiful boxes, but I finally found my permanent new home at Aerial Athletics (CrossFit Lino Lakes). After leaving my home gym, distance became a priority. I just didn’t want to drive 45 minutes one way anymore. My new box is only an 8-minute drive door to door, so it’s convenient. “Convenient” is a word that hasn’t been part of the journey, but I was glad it was finally introduced. I’d like to personally thank CrossFit 952 and CrossFit Calypso for the kind hospitality and wonderful communities for providing a comfortable temporary home while I figured things out.
Loss
This year I grieved severely the loss of my little monkey Yeti on September 11th. He had problems since he was a baby; epilepsy and liver shunts were just a couple of many. His little body finally had enough and mommy had to say goodbye. I’m trying not to cry as I write this. I miss him dearly.
On that same day, I also lost my birth father, Brad. In the midst of leaving my home gym and trying to find someplace that felt like the right fit, these two losses were ill-timed. However, there is never a good time is there? Losing Brad didn’t traumatize me; I had let him go many years prior. However, my hope for answers died with him. He and Shelly are now both gone. It’s a loss, but a peaceful one.
Isiah 57:2
Kodiak
I welcomed Kodiak to my little family at the beginning of October. He wasn’t a replacement for Yeti; rather I knew I had more space in my heart for another little buddy. He is now 5.5 months old and growing so fast. He is now bigger than his sister. He picked up on the doggy door immediately and is a fast learner. He keeps me laughing morning, noon and night. I call him and Poppy my little “Salt and Pepper.”
Self Care
I gave myself lots of downtime. I believe I am very extrovert, but equally, I enjoy my alone time and rest days. Most weekends were mine just to be. Sometimes it was reading, journaling, crafts, design, and graphics…. whatever I wanted to do. If relationships weren’t healthy for this stage in my journey, they had to go. I had to get comfortable with saying “No.” I was entirely intentional this year with whom I spent my time with and how I filled my cup.
My song of the year
Favorite Place visited in 2018
California – The CrossFit Ranch. I got to take my level 1 seminar here, but it was neat to see a bit of history. I picked up a bunch of dirt and brought it home – several people around the world requested some of that dirt. Did any of you know it’s a thing? It is…
I was also fortunate to be back in California for the Team Series in October. So dang fun!!!
Best Day of 2018
Oh my goodness, there were SO MANY!!! I had the distinct honor of being featured in an episode of “Athlete Mindset” by FaithRXD. It was the first time I shared my thoughts on faith and forgiveness in a very public way. It was a growth step for me.
The second day….. was after taking a few weeks to think about what 2019 was going to look like. And then one day, something clicked. What do I want to do going forward? What kind of life do I want to have? What are my spiritual gifts and how am I going to use them.
So let’s chat about those!
2019 and beyond….
“I’ve Bean There” will have a new home starting within the next month. The blog worked when it launched back in 2014. It was my public diary and the feel and look matched my style back then. But… that style, tastes, likes, and personal branding has changed. I’m pretty stoked about it.
Sneak peek…
- zone meals with options for 3, 4 and 5 block variations and a meal of the week video.
- E-courses (many of these will come later in the year)
- A seminar specifically designed to “teach the coaches” about morbid obesity and how to coach more effectively for this demographic. I’m going to take it to CrossFit boxes all over the country and world. Parlez vous francais?
- Blog – will cover more than just the journey. There will be weekly Christ-centered inspiration to help you in your weight loss, coaching tips of the day, zone recipes, and plenty of resources to assist in your quest to feel better.
I will let you guys know when the new website launches!
I got my own class!
Starting next Wednesday, I will be coaching a special CrossFit class explicitly designed for those who suffer from morbid obesity and chronic disease. More details are coming soon!
(hold on, I need a coffee break)
……
Alright, whew, what else?
My new word for 2019
My journey continues, as it will for the rest of my life but in 2019 I intend to hit the goal I set for myself over two years ago. I had to adjust a few things and take a step back for a few weeks so that I could make that happen.
However, my word for 2019 is “re-invent.” Perhaps this word is a sneak preview of what’s to come.
I love you all and thank you for continuing to support me. I can’t thank you enough. Thank you… thank you… thank you….
