Running | Week 21 Weight Loss

Day 151, 106 pounds lost.

I’m heading into month six in two short days, and even though I can’t move my arms or legs this morning, I feel better than I have in my life. Looking back on the last 5 months, I am overcome with so many emotions. Perhaps I can’t move my body, and I just want to cry {{laugh}}. Maybe that’s what it is?

This journey so far has been both incredibly challenging and rewarding. It was hard to accept the fact that I needed to change my habits. It was hard for me to face the fact that I gained so much weight and even harder for me to accept that I had to do something about it on my own. I have been big my entire life, I have never known anything else. I never thought about exercising or eating healthy so the simple fact I showed up yesterday to do the toughest workout to date is a milestone in itself.  People ask me quite often why it’s different this time and my answer is always very simple: it’s for me this time, and the smiles in my pictures are real.

People often ask me about my weight goals as well.  It’s not really about a weight goal anymore, it’s about freedom to do the things I’ve always wanted to do.  Most people will spend their whole life trying to get to a “number,” trust me I was one of them. There’s a huge problem with that because what happens when you get there? You won’t know what do with yourself. There is an initial number but not a goal weight. Here’s why: I’m doing things right now I never thought I was capable of doing. It’s about living healthy and playing an active role in my life so that I can build the life that I want to have.  That’s a far cry from trying to hide in my home, hoping that no one would see me. This journey is changing my life into one that I am madly in love with living. I didn’t play an active role 5 months ago. I was nothing more than a freaking zombie. Most of you will never know that side, but it was dark and lonely and frankly, I don’t even know her anymore. 

Today I celebrate 151 days of a new lifestyle that’s becoming part of who I am.

• I can sleep through an entire night
• Not afraid to try new things
• I can use my knees to get up off the ground
• Sleep apnea machine – no more!
• Completely off the thyroid medications.
• No more pain killers
• I don’t eat to sooth pain anymore. I meditate, sleep, and exercise.
• No more heartburn
• I can bend over and tie my shoes!
• I can go shopping by myself
• I can mow the lawn!
• Daily step average from 1200 to 6000.

I could do a list 100 bullet points long. The point is that this is really what drives me right now, not the number. I’m not running away from something, I’m running to something that I know makes me feel alive. There is no going back, and I will never take this for granted again.