Delivery | Lessons of Understanding and Empathy

Day 1538. 223 lbs. lost.

Read the previous post here.

First, it was the commercial by the “Reel Hope Project.” Next, it was a flyer in my mailbox. Then I started seeing pop-ups and advertisements when I was surfing around on the web. I don’t have two-way conversations with God, but I feel better at spotting messages.  When I ask a question or ask for help, it’s always delivered so that I see it multiple times to a point where it becomes noticeable. When I recognize something is repetitive, I look up and say, “Okay, God. I see you”.

It’s not that it never crossed my mind over the years. It had. My mother had been adopted by my grandparents when she was twelve. I always “knew” it would be something I considered, and I felt the push in that direction. I spent December and January taking all my classes to get assigned a caseworker and pursue the foster-adopt program.  This experience so far will probably warrant creating a new topic on my blog to share what I’ve learned. It’s been very humbling, and I’ve learned a great deal about myself. I don’t consider my life a selfish one. Instead, it has been a life where I didn’t have to consider the life of another human. That very thing changes who you are, how you behave, and your day-to-day perspective.  Something I have never had exposure to.

One of the profound lessons.

A year ago, if you had said a specific phrase to me, I might have gotten annoyed. Maybe it’s because I didn’t understand what it was. Looking back on my life and knowing it was tumultuous, it wasn’t received well.

During the training, I was set up to experiment. I was asked if I was open to adopting a child of different skin color. I was excited and said, “Yes, of course”!

“Athena, pretend you are adopting a child that is black. She is 12 years old, and she needs a haircut. Where would you take her”?

“My salon.”

“You think it would be that easy”?

“Yes, why wouldn’t it”?

“Okay, call your salon and try to set up an appointment for your daughter. It sounds like a silly exercise but just do it”.

So I picked up the phone, pretended I had a daughter of the above scenario, and tried to make an appointment for a haircut. I was promptly told no. I felt my blood pressure rising.

“What do you mean you can’t help me? Why the heck not”??

I was told that they did not have anyone able to cut my child’s hair because it was “special.” It actually took three different calls to find a place that would do it. I had no idea. How would I? It is something I never had exposure to. I never dreamed it would be difficult; to me, it was something I could do in a minute without giving it a second thought. This very thing opened my eyes very much. I think the difference was delivery. How it was delivered; it was done in a way I could empathize and understand.

So, where are we at with this process now? (getting up to date). I wait. During Covid, there was a backlog in court cases, so there is less availability of caseworkers. It might be a good six months or so before one is formally assigned. The home study could take another 3-4 months, so I’m probably looking at a year before placement is even considered. However, I think the time will serve me well. There’s a lot to learn. There’s growing to be had for me as a human.

I think of things going on in my current CrossFit community the same way as above. I desperately try to understand how I can deliver what I am advocating for so the rest can empathize and understand. I feel so far I have failed. But I’m going to keep trying. I might need to change my delivery 100 times. Because quite frankly, it’s the same thing someone had to do with me before I got it.

Thoughts for Sunday night.