A few thoughts on finding my name, changing plans, and making a little organized chaos educational.

wait. that’s my name.

This morning, I looked through the AffiliateCon speaker lineup and stared at the screen.

There were names I recognized immediately. People I’ve followed for years, learned from, admired, and respected, who’ve helped shape CrossFit and influenced how generations of coaches approach their work. And somewhere among them was mine. I won’t lie, it felt weird. 

I sat there for a while, taking it all in, because much like my experience at Coaches Congress, there’s something a little surreal about it. You spend so much time working toward something, focusing on the next project, and whatever else needs your attention, that you don’t always notice when things around you start to change. Then one morning you’re drinking your coffee, looking at a conference schedule, and thinking, Well, holy shit. Look at that.

a few years. a lot of questions

I’ve spent years building an education program around something I believe matters deeply. It started with my own experiences and a whole lot of questions I couldn’t stop asking. Those questions led to conversations, research, lessons, and eventually an entire body of work that keeps growing and changing as we learn more.

It hasn’t exactly been a straight road. There have been plenty of moments when I’ve wondered whether people would understand what I was trying to accomplish or recognize why this education was needed. I’ve made mistakes, reconsidered ideas, challenged my own assumptions, and rebuilt things more times than I can count. I’m fairly certain I’ve personally kept the office supply industry in business through several rounds of workbook revisions, and I wouldn’t recommend asking me how many hours I’ve spent staring at the same paragraph.

For much of my CrossFit journey, I’ve been the person sitting in the audience. I’ve listened to these educators, studied their approaches, and taken what I’ve learned back to my own coaching. Some of the most important things I know today came from people who were willing to share their knowledge and experience, and I’ve always appreciated that.

from the audience to the conversation

Now I have the opportunity to contribute to those same conversations, and I’m still getting used to it.

I don’t think standing on the same speaker lineup suddenly gives me the same experience or accomplishments as everyone else. We all bring different backgrounds, perspectives, and areas of expertise. What I’m beginning to appreciate is that there’s room for those differences, including experiences that haven’t always been well represented in coaching education.

My work grew out of a part of coaching that I believe deserves more attention. Working with larger-bodied athletes has taught me to look more carefully, ask better questions, and reconsider things that might otherwise seem obvious. It’s changed how I understand movement, intensity, and the responsibility we carry as coaches. Much of what I teach today comes down to recognizing that our first interpretation isn’t always the right one, and sometimes the most important information is what we haven’t thought to ask about yet.

so, about that plan…

As it turns out, I’ve had a pretty good opportunity to practice some of that adaptability myself this week.

I recently discovered that the presentation format I’d been preparing for wasn’t quite the format I was scheduled to deliver. I’d been planning a talk, and now we’re going in a much more interactive direction. With the event right around the corner, that was a bit of a surprise. My initial reaction was somewhere between Well, that’s interesting and a few words that probably wouldn’t look particularly professional in the event program.

Fortunately, I’m not starting from scratch. We already have an entire seminar full of education and activities to work with. The question is which parts make the most sense for this setting. If we want coaches to get involved, experiment, and experience these concepts firsthand, we need to spend less time on the discussion-based sections and pull more from the seminar’s practical side.

new plan

That’s where Rethink the Rep comes in. It’s one of our more hands-on sections, designed to help coaches explore how body mass and other variables can change the demands of a workout. It’s a great experience, and I’m excited about bringing it to AffiliateCon. The catch is that it requires equipment, coordination, and a little logistical creativity.

In our regular seminar, we know how many people are coming, so planning those activities is fairly straightforward. At AffiliateCon, I have absolutely no idea how many coaches might wander onto that workout field. We could have a small group, or a whole crowd. Either way, I have the same amount of equipment, and apparently wishing for more doesn’t make it magically appear. Rude.

So now I’m figuring out how to preserve the experience while making it work for whatever size group shows up. There are a few different ways we could approach it, and I’m working through which ones will give everyone a meaningful opportunity to participate, observe, and learn.

And you know what? The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve realized this isn’t all that different from what we do on the gym floor.

well, we adapt. thats what coaches do.

We can walk into the gym with a beautifully planned class, and five minutes later, everything changes. An athlete shows up with an unexpected limitation, a movement isn’t working as we expected, or something about the group means we need to reconsider our approach. Suddenly, we’re making decisions on the fly, trying to preserve the intended stimulus while figuring out the best way to get everyone where they need to go.

Anyone who’s coached long enough knows a lesson plan and an actual Tuesday evening CrossFit class don’t always look much alike.

And we’re not going to get every decision right. Sometimes we’ll look back and realize there was a better way to approach something, or that we should’ve asked another question before making an adjustment. That’s part of the job. We make the best decisions we can with the information we have, pay attention to what happens, and hopefully get a little better at it the next time.

The format may differ from what I originally envisioned, but the purpose of the education hasn’t changed. I still want coaches to walk away with a better understanding of what they may not see when they’re working with larger-bodied athletes. And who knows? Getting people involved might be an even better way to explore some of these concepts than standing in front of a room talking about them.

There’s something pretty fitting about practicing adaptability while preparing to teach other coaches. Although, for the record, I wouldn’t have objected to a little more advance notice *smirk laugh*

the part that surprised me

What’s surprised me through all of this is how calm I feel. Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty to figure out, and I’m sure I’ll have a few butterflies when I step onto that floor. I’m also stepping into a part of the seminar I don’t normally lead myself, so there’s a learning curve there, too.

But I’m not sitting here wondering whether I can do it. I’m sitting here figuring out how I’m going to do it, and there’s a pretty big difference between those two things. But I trust the work, and I’m learning to trust myself a little more, too.

For a long time, I wanted people I respected to see the value in what I was creating, and I wanted to know that the questions I was asking were worth exploring and that the education growing out of them could make a difference. I don’t think that’s particularly unusual, especially when you’ve poured years into something without knowing exactly where it might go.

I still have a long way to go. Challenges lie ahead, and I don’t know where all of this will eventually take me. Building something meaningful takes time, and sometimes it takes a hell of a lot more time than you’d like. But I also don’t want to spend so much energy thinking about what still needs to happen that I forget to appreciate what’s happening right now.

see you at affiliatecon

Next week, I’ll be surrounded by people who’ve contributed so much to a community I love. I’ll listen, learn, reconnect with friends, meet new people, and hopefully share something meaningful. I’m looking forward to the conversations just as much as the opportunity to teach. I know there’ll be plenty of people in that room who have things to teach me, too.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, I’ll be out on the workout floor trying to make a little organized chaos educational. If everything goes according to plan, wonderful. If it doesn’t, well, I’ve coached enough CrossFit classes to know we’ll figure something out.

When I look around that room, I hope I remember what it felt like to sit here this morning, look at that speaker list, and realize how much has changed over the years. There was a time when I was simply grateful for the opportunity to learn from the people at that table. I still am, and I suspect I always will be. The difference is that now I’ve been invited to contribute something of my own to the conversation.

That means everything.