Day 305. 172 pounds lost.
I woke up this morning excited that it was November 1st. Although I have always been committed to this process, I have renewed energy. It’s down to the last 60 of 365 days. I had a wildly optimistic dream that I could lose 200 pounds this year. Nobody is pressuring me, and overall I’m going to be happy with whatever the final number will be because regardless, the journey won’t be over. However, ………….I want to crush it. Knock that shit out of the park. 60 days to lose 29 pounds. Whew……… *rubbing hands together*.
Later in the morning, I was sitting across from someone that asked me, “What was your WHY?” It seemed like a simple enough question, but I suppose I have never talked about it. Mostly because my “WHY” has evolved.
On December 31st, 2016 I was in a lot of physical pain, and I was popping a lot of painkillers to try and quiet the constant vibration and throbbing in my legs. I was afraid I was going to get addicted, and I was a walking zombie, so there was this. I spent Christmas alone for the first time in my life, so my misery level was a 10. I was running out of things to wear, this is also a good one. I couldn’t walk…. Mobility was a problem. There were a MILLION reasons…… but this person was asking about my WHY. Everyone has a WHY. Your WHY is the purpose, cause or belief that inspires you.
My WHY was a person; possibly a representation of what my life was missing. I was tired…… tired of wondering, thinking, and I knew I had a lot more life left. He inspired me, and he represented a piece of my life that was missing. It could have been anyone, but God used him and has many times. My life goals included getting married, having children, and someone to share it with it. My 40th birthday was just around the corner, and I was scared to death that I might have waited too long. When I started this journey, the goal was pretty simple and uncomplicated; I was tired of being afraid. I’m was going to get to a point where I could ask this person out for coffee. It sounds silly I’m sure, but having this one desire for quite a few years ended up changing my life. It saved my life. It opened doors I never could have imagined, and I gained friendships I could not have fathomed. “Bean There” was born out of a simple desire to have a cup of coffee with someone. ???? Bean is also my nickname so it worked out well.
*holding up my coffee mug* cheers.
Once I got to the point where I wasn’t afraid anymore goal changed or shall I say…. evolved. I had a taste of progress, and I got to feel what hard work felt like and it started to feel amazing. As every goal is achieved, the “WHY” changes. Some of my following “WHYs” have looked like this:
- Because I want to be able to walk better
- Because I want to be a better business partner
- Because I want to be able to fit into Silvers again
- Because I want to be able to go to Iceland
There have been lots over the last year. Your WHY doesn’t have to stay the same, and it can be anything you NEED it to be for you. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone but you. You can read every book and article on how to lose weight and still fail miserably at it. Why? Because you never answered the question, what is your WHY? When you know why you want something and truly want it bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen. It’s just a simple way of figuring out what’s going to keep you motivated.
Remember – in the end, it doesn’t matter what got you started; it’s whether or not you continue. For me, it has become more about finishing what I started; inadvertently this has become my new WHY. Because I said, I would.
Today can be the beginning of whatever you want. Close your eyes and dive in because you can go head first, and have no regrets……it was all worth it.
Lovingly,
Bean
