Seventy-five pounds lost as of this morning; it doesn’t seem real. It felt like an insurmountable mountain when I started, but here I am still alive and kickin’. To be frank, I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I was more committed to my health.
Do I think about quitting? Sure, sometimes but it’s usually short-lived. This weekend was tough. I ached so bad after my boot camp class my initial thought was, “I’m never doing that shit again.” Friday I didn’t get anything done, and Saturday was similar. What I need is a good pair of knee pads with all the crawling around I did. It felt like a horrible hangover. I made coffee Saturday determined to get caught up on things, and I didn’t have the energy to pour the coffee into the cup. Every part of my body ached and every time I moved there was moaning involved. I say this with a slight chuckle because I’ve already decided I’m going back to get my ass kicked again this week. From there, I’m going to do my best to keep improving. There’s a significant difference between the miserable hurt I felt laying on the couch at Christmas and the one I received at boot camp. The only tears I have shed since Christmas are ones of joy. Oh, I lied………. there might be little ones here and there. Frustration does happen when I work my ass off, and I don’t see results, but I’m learning to let those moments go.
I had to make another huge adjustment in my life. I had to re-prioritize a few things in my businesses and rearrange work time. There’s a prevalent attitude among entrepreneurs that the business, (whatever that is), MUST come first. There was a time I agreed with this. It was the high priority that trumped everything else; friends and especially my health. It’s not greed that motivates us. It would be difficult to justify the sacrifices we make if the only reward were money. What it’s really about is building something awesome. That’s why it was so easy to brush other things off. But it’s a mistake. I know that now. For a long time, I was fooled into thinking that if my business wasn’t the top priority, then that meant I wasn’t doing all I could do to make it successful. It’s an entirely understandable way of thinking, but it’s completely wrong. I don’t have to do everything right now. My first goal is my health – above all others. When I started this journey in January, it was to feel better. I wanted to be a better person and resource for others. I needed to be a better business partner. I needed to have joy and feel alive again. I know that making my health a priority is improving my personal life, but it’s starting to produce some amazing results in my business. Go figure. Feeling alive = productivity.
This process is allowing me to focus on one day at a time… with an open mind. I’m letting the universe rearrange things to make my goal happen. I’ll get there – even on those occasional days when it still feels Oceans Away. I believe.
Lovingly, Bean.
