Day 214. 144.5 pounds lost.

This last week was slower weight loss wise; at least it was most of the week. When I started taking CrossFit classes, the number on the scale suddenly came to a screeching halt. I’ve learned just to let go, but I do get curious and weigh myself every few days. I had no significant losses but suddenly this morning, BOOM – down 3.75. Of course, it wouldn’t throw me a badge – that bi***.  A half a pound off? BUHHHHHHHH!^#&#%##%#%

When I hit the 200’s, I felt like I was on the edge of a steep hill looking down thinking “Oh god, I have to do this all over again”? I try not to think about it, but some days it can be overwhelming. Even with as far as I have come, there is still much work to do. I could drive myself crazy thinking about how much weight still has to come off. I try to only focus on five pounds at a time. One badge at a time.  I’m learning that staying present every day is the biggest challenge. I constantly have to pull myself back to the present. I sometimes carry a small rock in my pocket. I call it my “Goal Stone” *grin*. Whenever I feel it in my pocket, I’m reminded to take things one day at a time and to stay in the present. It says “Confidence” because I was determined to get this damn thing back. *smile*….. It’s happening though. One day at a time.

My business partners’ cousin is a pitcher for the Saint Paul Saints. I can’t tell you over the years how many games I’ve gotten invited too, but my response was always the same, “I hate baseball.” In an effort to be transparent throughout this journey, I will admit I didn’t hate baseball. I hated the fact that I was fearful of going to a game because I was scared I wouldn’t fit into a seat. It’s the same reason I never went to his other cousin’s plays was because there was a part of me was always visually sizing up the seating arrangements wondering whether or not I would be comfortable or in pain the entire show. I love sports and theatre. I got invited to a Twin’s game Sunday, and I’m going. Fear be damned! It might still be a a tight squeeze, but damn it, I’m not going to miss out anymore on anything I want to do. It will be the first time going to a game in Minnesota. *holding up my morning coffee* – f-ing cheers, right? *sip*…….. Now I need a hat or something.

*made herself laugh, spits coffee all over her screen*.

Experiences really are becoming the air that I breathe, and I am bizarrely blessed. These little blessings and experiences aren’t random.  God is constantly at work in my life.

Lovingly,

Bean